Hey there if you want to find out what is going on in the life of Leanne and Jeral Krahn go to www.leanne-marie-krahn.blogspot.com

Thanks, Leanne Krahn

"THE GREATEST PARADOX IS THAT IN LETTING GO, WE RECEIVE. WE FIND SAFETY IN UNEXPECTED PLACES OF RISK. AND THOSE WHO TO TO AVOID ALL RISK, THOSE WHO WOULD TRY TO GUARANTEE THAT THEIR HEARTS WILL NOT BE BROKEN, WIND UP IN A SELF-CREATED HELL."

- HENRI NOUWEN

Ouch is all I can say to that. Let the words sink in deeply, and think about it for a few minutes. Is there any truth in the words of Herni Nouwen? Yes there sure are, well at least there is truth for me. I was thinking about this today as I was going about my day. I don't know about many of you but I have spent a lot of my life doing everything that I can to keep my heart from getting broken. I put up huge walls, and bomb proof shelters for my heart, all in an attempt to keep it from getting hurt. However the reality was though that as a human I was not able to get the protections in place before it was too late. My heart was hurt and broken long before the walls went up. Part of living in a fallen world I guess. So then the walls went up to keep my heart from being hurt further. Many people who have been hurt put walls and fortresses in place to keep from getting hurt again. But really if anyone who has put up a protective wall is honest they will tell you that all the fortresses in the world cannot protect against loneliness and isolation one feels behind the walls, barriers, and fortresses.

Is it bad to set boundaries? No I don't think so. This is something I am working on daily. Boundaries when they are healthy benefit everyone in the long run. However when those boundaries become impenetrable fortresses to keep me inside and everyone else out I have a problem. We were created by God to be in relationship. And I believe that deep with in us all is a desire to be known. Not just to have some one know us, but to be truly known, every part of us. The good and the bad, and to know that we are loved in spite of all the yuckiness. It is when we think that if people truly knew us they would run that the risk in our minds becomes to great, and the walls of self protection rise or we run in to the shelter and lock it down. Yes it is a risk to allow our selves to be truly known, but guess what is it not as big of a risk as we think because we all are truly known by our Creator, who is our ABBA, and seriously He loves me. Knowing everything about me He LOVES me. It may not be prudent to share everything with everyone, but I am pretty sure we all have people in our lives who won't run if we let them in. It is actually more torture to keep them out, because there is the long to let them in.

That has been my thought for today. I think I will sit on it and think some more tonight, and in the days to come.

Blessings, Leanne

Okay so I know that I really suck at keeping my blog up dated. I can't believe that I have let it go as long as I did without writing anything.

So obviously since my last post life has changed, just look at the picture I am in my wedding dress. I got married on December 30th, 2006. Talk about fun and what a great day. I honestly felt like a princess, and I know that Jesus had a huge smile on his face that day. We sure had a lot of fun. So now I am Mrs. Krahn!!!! We live in Armstrong, BC and we are really enjoying life together. We live on a Chicken Farm. Yes I married a Chicken Farmer. I am reminded of the summer that a few of my campers got a hold of my journal and wrote a poem in it about me marrying a farmer. If they only would have known.

I am not a Youth Pastor anymore, instead I am a learning assistance aid. I never thought I would be working in a school. I get to work with 5 great kids on a daily basis.

Let's see what else has happened. Oh my dad passed away 3 days before my wedding. Talk about strange timing. I was not sure what to do or how to respond. We went ahead with the wedding obviously, and I honestly believe that my dad's passing was God's perfect timing.

Yes lots has happened this year, but I wouldn't trade this past year for anything. I know that as I get older I will be able to look back on the last 6 months of my life and say that these months have been huge "spike points" in my life. Well that is all for tonight, so there you have the quick up date on the life of Leanne Krahn (formerly Johnston)

Life is a journey, thus the name on my blog - PONDERINGS OF A JOURNEY. I am not sure about you but I often find that my relationship with my Heavenly Father has many object lessons tided into the life I am living and the activities I am doing. For example to earn some extra money for my "apartment" fund I have been getting up at 5:30 am to pick strawberries. Look at those yummy, delicious, mouth watering strawberries. Don't they look soooooooooo good. They do now but those are the final product. Those are the strawberries you buy in the store. If you are a strawberry picker you know that not all strawberries look and taste as good as the ones in the picture. If you are the one picking the strawberries you have to come to the fields early in the morning prepared to get dirty. Picking strawberries is a dirty job. You have to kneel, or sit on the ground which first thing in the morning is muddy and wet from the morning dew. As a picker you have to carefully, but efficiently go through your row to make sure you get all the strawberries that are rip and sellable for that day. You cannot take just any old strawberry that looks okay. You have to check for soft spots, and you have to check for mold, and monkey faces (those are the strawberries that are odd shaped). So to get the nice plump juicy strawberries that you get in the stores some one has got to be willing to get dirty, and get a little sore. Did I mention that strawberry picking is very hard on your body. Man, alive am I ever sore these days.

So you may be asking what does strawberry picking have to do with my spiritual life, and my relationship with Jesus. Well if I want a relationship with Jesus that is good. The kind of relationship that goes deep and is transparent and authentic then I need to be willing to get dirty, to get down into the dirt and sort through what is good and what is bad. What is from God and what is not from God. And sometimes I am going to be really tired and really sore, and my body will ache or my heart will hurt, but that in the end will be the tools and the instruments that God use to deepen my relationship with Him. I cannot jump to the end product without the work. I cannot buy my relationship with Jesus. No more than I could buy a husband (okay I know that in some countries you can do this and even in North America you can too, but I hope you get my point. We cannot just by the end product that steals away from the sweetness of the journey. Just like I will never be able to bit into a strawberry again with savoring the flavor and know the work that went into picking that little wonderful explosions of mouth joy!!!!!

Okay so I have this picture in my office, actually I have two pictures in my office. One picture is of a lion cub and her mother and the other picture is of a baby elephant and her mother. I have intentionally used the word HER here because to me both these pictures are symbolic of my relationship with God. For now I will focus on the picture of the lion cub and her mother. No the picture to the right is not the exact picture that U have in my office, but I wanted to give you something to sort of picture. Close your eyes and try to picture this. A baby lion cub is all nestled into her mother and sleeping, tired from a day of adventure and journey. The mother lion is lying on the ground but not sleeping instead her head is held high and her eyes are open. She is on the look out to make sure that her little baby cub is protected and safe. She wants her little one to rest safe in her embrace.

For me that description is such a picture of God wow. God my Heavenly Father is holding me letting me rest, even calling me to a time of rest, and knowing that when I am rest I cannot be on guard He is on guard, protecting me and keeping a watchful eye out, so that there are no surprise attacks. God isn't just keeping a watchful eye from a distance. No He is right there holding me, sheltering me, protecting me, and ready to pick me up and carry me if need be. What an awesome picture and reminder of our ABBA's infinite and extravagant love.

WATERFALLS - Okay so my boyfriend knows that I love waterfalls. There is something so beautiful and so powerful about a waterfall. I could sit/stand for hours and just look in awe at a waterfall, so frequently he will take me to one of the local waterfalls.

Did you know that water will purify itself in a 9 foot fall, or was it 9 meters? Well anyway water will purify itself, but it must be white water and it must fall. Water that was once dirty is made clean in a fast, hard fall. When the water gets to the bottom of the fall it comes back together again and is clean purified water.

I am very much like the dirty water before it falls hard, and fast. There are times in my life when hard things happen, struggles creep up and jump on me trying to push me down. Those times are times when I am water rushing, hard and fast, over the fall. Those times are times that God will use to purify me and create me to be more like Him, if I let Him. So often I am afraid of the fall. Afraid that when the bottom comes I will be crushed into many pieces. Crushed into to many pieces to be picked back up, but that is fear speaking. The Psalmist David wrote in Psalm 18 - God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before Him. God is not so cruel that He would allow us to go through hard times and then just leave us there in pieces at the bottom. No if we lay the pieces of our broken lives at the throne of our God and Lord He will gently put them back together. He is faith to finish the work that he started. He (God) promises to finish the work that He starts. Look at a waterfall, and what happens to the water after it has rushed over the fall. At the bottom it comes together again and forms and beautiful clear lake, or stream.

So here is a challenge for all of us (myself included, because I would way rather hold onto a branch at the top than fall), when you think that God may be trying to use something to purify, and mold you, let go. Just let go, and let God do what he needs to. It might be hard and it might hurt a little, or a lot. But like the water that needs to fall hard and fast, becoming more Christ like is not easy and it means thought stuff. But in the end the tough stuff is worth it.

YOUR WORST DAYS ARE NEVER SO BAD THAT YOU ARE BEYOND THE REACH OF GOD'S GRACE. AND YOUR BEST DAYS ARE NEVER SO GOOD THAT YOU ARE BEYOND THE NEED OF GOD'S GRACE.

-PG 25 OUT OF DEVOTIONS FOR DATING COUPLES-

I once heard it said that GRACE, is getting what we don't deserve, and MERCY is not getting what we do deserve.

So often in life we strive. I am been fight with this very issue for the past few months. I feel I need to do this, and do that, and say yes to this, and yes to that, just so I can prove my worth to those around me. To show that I am valuable and worth being liked, loved, and appreciated. I have been so caught in this trap that I have forgotten that is not the approval of man that counts in life, it is the approval of God, and lets face it God see's and knows everything. God sees all the flaws, sins, and imperfections that I try so hard to keep covered up. No matter how "GOOD" I am or how "HOLY" I try to appear it will never be good enough outside of God's grace in my life. I will always need GRACE no matter how good I am. The good news though is that no matter how far I fall. I can mess up worse than anyother person I know, or worse than the worst criminal you can think of and God is there ready and wanting to give me his GRACE and waiting to tell me He LOVES me and for gives me. How very cool is that!

So to anyone who may read this, I want you to know that these thoughts are the thoughts of a woman who is still in the processof getting all of this. I still have a journey to go one in understanding and believing all of this in my heart. If you don't get it that is okay, it takes time, and trust me God has all the time in the world.